The one thing Jeff and Mack Fernandez-Williams wanted more than anything was to become fathers.

It was 2014. Mack, a Filipino fresh-grad from Ilocos Norte, and Jeff, a retired American from Ohio, met through a now-defunct international gay website. Their connection was immediate and conversation flowed naturally, with their correspondence evolving from daily messages to hour-long Skype calls. 

As early as their “talking stage,” Mack already expressed his desire to be a father one day. “I want to have kids. I don’t know how, but I want to have my own children.” 

Little did Mack know that it was with Jeff that this dream would come true. At the time, gay marriage was not yet legal across the entire United States. Despite that, Jeff booked a flight to the Philippines after just one month to ask for the blessing of Mack’s parents to marry their son.

In 2015, the pair finally tied the knot in San Francisco, one of the few states where gay marriage was legal. After an intimate wedding, they would go on to spend three years working, traveling, and enjoying married life before having children. 

It takes a village to raise a child

Those three years prepared them to finally tackle the question of how they would start a family of their own. They explored their options and ultimately decided on surrogacy through an agency in the US. They were matched with an egg donor and found surrogate mothers for both their daughters, first in 2019 for their daughter Maria, 7, then for a second time in 2022 for their daughter Olivia, 3. 

The process was tedious and took a lot of preparation and money. But when they finally held their daughters in their arms for the first time after they were born, all their struggles melted away.

The family’s social media handle, 2Dadsand2Daughters, started as a way for Mack to update his family in the Philippines about their then-newborn Maria while they were living in the US. 

“Most of our family members are here in the Philippines. So I was like, oh, let’s just make a page, that’s where we upload everything so I don’t have to message them individually. And then a few years back, there was monetization, where you can actually earn from posting. And it was just like a blessing in disguise. We went viral from both hate and love,” said Mack.

Their Facebook page ended up gaining an audience, growing into the millions of followers they now have across multiple social media platforms. 

Their followers joined the family on their journey as they moved to the Philippines and started a life in Mack’s hometown of Pinili, Ilocos Norte. A farmboy from Ohio himself, Jeff believes in the benefits of raising his children in the province. 

“They can go out and play and they might get knocked over by a cow! But, I mean, that’s a childhood memory right there. They’re out climbing trees and [playing outside]. They have a great childhood here,” said Jeff.

Jeff also gushed about living near a big family and relatives. “We have two wonderful sister-in-laws and their husbands and boyfriend, we have the most amazing brother-in-law. My mother-in-law is a saint and my father-in-law is just super. It really does take a village to raise a child.”

Maria and Olivia both attend a local Catholic school, and their dads say the community has been very welcoming of their unconventional family. Mack himself is the president of their parent-teacher association. 

“We have a great relationship with [the school headmaster], the principal and all of the teachers at the school,” Jeff said. Mack added that their co-parents are very supportive as well. 

“Nakatulong din siguro (It must have helped) that they already know us even prior to going to that school. Maria has been in that school for three years now, and we have never encountered any hatred from parents or teachers.”

They are thankful that their social media presence allows people in their community to know about them and their story, even when they face discrimination from random users from different parts of the world who come across their content. 

But Mack deals with it by letting it go. “It’s not worth the time and effort that you have to go back and forth if they already have this idea of what they want to be. And you cannot impose that they have to like us because this is us. You just learn to respect them and love who loves you.”

Fatherhood and everything in between

This unwavering faith in the love they have in their life is what enables the couple to focus on  surrounding their daughters with love, too. After all, they prepared for fatherhood with the intention that they were in it for the long haul. 

“We want our children to be great citizens of the world,” Jeff asserted. “We want them to be happy. We want them to be successful. So we do everything we can, provide them the best education, tutoring, and we work with them daily on all their subjects.” 

From the minute they pick up their kids from school to family dinners together, Mack and Jeff foster an atmosphere of openness. Mack makes sure that his daughters know they can trust their dads with anything. 

“We always tell them that they can tell us anything, even if they had a bad day, they had a good day, or what made them angry. You have to understand where they are coming from. We want them to be very honest and very open to us.” 

This openness goes two ways, as Mack said they chose to share with their daughters the story of their surrogacy. Their daughter Maria, at 7 years old, can already tell the story of her and her sister’s surrogacy. 

“We definitely believe in honesty and open communication. We never intend to hide anything from them because that is their identity, that’s their story, and they should know it.” 

For Mack, this decision was made out of love. 

“We want them to know that when they go out of this house, they represent us. But whenever they come home, their dads will always be here as well, that they are welcome, that they know that they are loved no matter what people say, and that we will always be here for them,” he told Rappler.

Jeff and Mack hope that their story serves a source of inspiration for young LGBTQ+ couples who dream of having their own families someday. 

“Look, we’re living happily,” Mack said. “We have a good community around us, a loving and supportive community, a supportive family. I do hope that they do get inspiration from us. If it was possible for us, then they can as well.” 

The couple acknowledged the legal hurdles and technicalities in having daughters born from surrogacy, with two fathers in a country where surrogacy is “neither illegal or legal” and same-sex parents are not recognized. “It’s complicated,” they said. 

But for Mack, despite all the legal difficulties, it was important for them that their daughters get to grow up in the Philippines. “That’s why we moved here. We want them to be able to fully love, understand, [and] appreciate the culture and being Filipino.” 

Fatherhood has been everything Mack and Jeff have dreamed and hoped for. As Maria and Olivia grow up, they want them to know how much they are wanted and loved. From their journey of surrogacy and migration, to their everyday choices and sacrifices, everything Mack and Jeff do is for their daughters. 

“We made everything possible to have them so there’s no turning back,” said Mack. “They are our children and we will always be there for them. We wish and pray for their happiness. We will always be here guiding them. They are loved and a lot of people care for them.” 

“We are so blessed to have them in our lives,” Jeff added. 

In a message to his daughters, Jeff said: “We love you no matter what happens in life. You are our daughters forever and nothing will ever change that.”  – Rappler.com

Elise Suarez is a Rappler intern from Puerto Princesa City and a Humanities student of the University of Asia & the Pacific.